The Ofrenda

The Ofrenda is nearly complete. I worked on it all day yesterday and made another trip to the store. I thought I had everything I needed from a previous trip, but didn’t, twice.

The Ofrenda is huge, not by design, by circumstance, just by using what I had. I used pre-existing tables and adapted them.

It has the traditional three levels and is of bright colors.

It is Anglicized and LEZed.

My neighbor and friend who is Mexican, sent a guideline for the de los Muertos ritual. It is to start today and last for six days, ending in the welcoming feast for those being honored.

Last year, my observance of de los Muertos was acknowledging my wife, my life of 50-plus years, was gone from me. It was painful. It was not a celebration of our lives together, but a ritual of the reality that she was gone and I was still here.

This year I will respect and honor her. I will follow the traditional ritual.

For a person who has considered herself to be scientifically based, it is a little surprising to be doing so. I have believed in ashes-to-ashes, dust-to-dust. Recycle. I don’t believe this ritual is voodoo, but it serves a purpose. Each culture has its own rituals.

Rituals assist the living in accepting and adjusting to the loss of their loved ones, and in coping with everyday events. I did not have a funeral for my wife, so I did not have that ritual, nor a celebration of life to commemorate her passing. Most of our friends had already died. Those who were left were scattered across the country. We had little contact with relatives. Anyone left was to remember her in their own way.

The traditional de los Muertos celebration honors and welcomes those who have passed to visit on the final day of the ritual. This possibility would have seemed absurd a short time ago, until the dreams happened. The dreams, which seemed to be messages from her, then the feeling of presence that one evening in the house, were too encompassing to ignore.

I will welcome her if it’s possible for her to visit.

What has been totally disturbing is what I consider a warning, a carnivore entering the house. This was in the guise of another dream. I was exhausted yesterday, went to bed early and stayed longer than usual. This morning Little Dog came and scratched my head. She wanted me to make a blanket for her, hug her, before we got up. We both went back to sleep, nestled in comfort. The coyote came in the front door. It resembled a friendly dog, wagging, like it was expecting to be welcomed. Something was off about it. It did not give off friendly vibes. It moved in a predatory manner. I shooed it back outside and locked us inside. This visit (if it was one) scared me awake. Awake, I can still see the coyote disguised as a friendly dog. The traditional wolf in sheep‘s clothing. Coyotes don’t necessarily have to be a person. Period. Dot. Infinity, conditions, events, situations, surroundings. I am paying attention.

This year I am honoring my wife, this de los Muertos. Each item I place on the Ofrenda brings back memories, good memories, remembrances of love and good times, of events long forgotten, of youth and time passing, of her likes and strengths and fun times. All that has passed by in a flash.

Today I will light a candle and place a white flower on the Ofrenda in her honor.

Should she choose to visit me on the final day of the celebration I will welcome her and share and love her.

The coyote will be kept at bay.

Let me know how you are doing. I care.

Contemplation: Do our loved ones visit and/or send warnings to us?

Sincerely,

Lynn Brooke

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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau