The Journey through Fear without Your Loved One

Life lesson: Fear can guide us or sink us.

Some people that I have been in contact with have expressed a load of fears:

They think there is something wrong with them because they are still grieving after a period of time.

They can’t exactly remember what their loved one looked like.

They are afraid they will lose memory of their loved one.

They fear they didn’t love them enough.

Even thinking about starting a new relationship seems disrespectful to their loved one.

They think they could have done more to keep their loved one alive.

They fear they may have contributed to their death.

They think they are going crazy because so many memories crowd their mind.

They think it is wrong to spend money their loved ones left them.

They fear if they discard any of their loved ones belongings, it is wrong.

They fear if they move from their combined abode, they will lose the memories of

Where he/she sat, slept.

What he/she did when they came home from work.

What he/she liked to eat.

What he/she did for play.

They fear their loved one’s ghost will haunt them under certain conditions.

They fear if they change or repair their place of residence, it will dissolve memories of how it was, and all they have to hang onto.

They fear there is something wrong with them or their loved ones wouldn’t have left them.

They fear the unknown of tomorrow, without their loved one.

They fear they won’t be able to cope without their loved one.

They fear that if they have a happy time, it is disrespectful to their loved one.

They fear the emergence of a new personality, different from their previous one.

They fear they may disrespect their loved one by behaving badly, intentionally or not.

They fear opening new doors to find what lies beyond.

They fear they may never get over their love and will forever be a shell without them.

They fear they will stop loving their loved one as time passes.

I have had many of these fears

I have had times of grief, thinking I could have done more.

I have her picture on my dresser, and in my mind, so I won’t forget her.

I share memories of her with those few remaining who knew her.

I cherish happy times.

I won’t part with many of her possessions.

I am afraid of decisions without her.

I am afraid of not knowing what to do and when.

In spite of my fears:

I have to have courage to let life happen.

I have to have confidence I did the best I could.

I have to accept the possibility that she was the last dance for me. Maybe I am used up.

I have to remember that fear is like worry. Fear can eat up energy without accomplishing anything.

Let me know if your fear is overwhelming you. I care.

Sincerely,

Lynn Brooke

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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau