Ongoing Journey

Life lesson: We are all in the same boat. We need to bail together in times of storms.

My little trailer got finished loading. It seemed full. It got hitched up and we were on the road. There was always some concern about the status of the trailer, as it was a salvage. That means it was wrecked and someone bought it and fixed it. By the time I got it on the road and the input from my neighbor, it looked almost brand new. It was sparkly white with black accents, labeled with my brands and this was the first test when loaded.

The trailer traveled like a pro, smooth as silk. I wanted to keep within a safe speed for a trailer, plus it was the first time out and it was windy. I would forget I was towing. I had to concentrate on not going too fast.

The trip last year, just after my wife died, was a blur. This year it was bittersweet. She was not in the passenger seat or driving. The dog was riding shotgun. She (the dog) loves to travel so I did have company.

My wife loved scenery. She would exclaim every time a new scene appeared. She was so excited to see huge mountains with cascades of rock with cactus and various grasses, with pine trees and green valleys.

This trip seemed to go too fast, even though I was driving slow. I was reliving previous outings that galloped through my memories.

Times which seemed mundane at the time are now precious. They are forever etched in my mind. If only I could relive those times, fully engage in the moment and share. If only I still had her to pass me a Coke or M&Ms. To see a deer by the side of the road. To hear her impatience at the slow car in front of us. To stand in line at the rest stop. To talk about a song we both liked and the artist performing it.

A neighbor friend seemed to know the house of emptiness that awaited me at the end of the trip. She was at the door with cheer and helping hands. We had the trailer emptied in no time. I got to meet her adorable new dog. She left me with enthusiasm and promises of invasions with her friends and relatives in a few days, plus food in the refrigerator.

It’s good to have friends. My friend in another state has been going through a rough time involving an auto accident of someone close to her and a resultant death.

My purpose in writing this blog and baring my soul to strangers is to share reactions to traumatic loss and potential outcomes, which can be healthy or not, and the struggle to keep from descending into despair. Others, having losses, have the same struggles to go through. Sharing can help.

Journeys are not one dimensional. From my leaving this morning and reliving precious memories, to being greeted at the end of this trip with love and kindness, to the morass of my friend’s distress, and the struggles emerging. These are the ongoing life cycle.

We make decisions. We can choose to re-enter life. There are going to be pain and distress episodes. If we know our friends and others are experiencing the same reactions, perhaps we can meet them at their door with love and kindness.

We all need a dog to ride shotgun.

Let me know how you are doing. I care.

Sincerely,

Lynn Brooke

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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau