Importance of Fact Checking

Upon pulling into a parking space and easing out into the small space next to an adjacent car, a woman turned around and made a comment.

“You are such a small woman to be driving such a big car.” I told her my “car” was actually a truck and it was my version of a pick up.

Later in the day, my wife was mentioned during an upcoming appointment meeting. The registration clerk referred to my husband. I responded, “My spouse is a she.” The clerk quickly apologized.

There was no need for apologies. The majority of unions are husband and wife. I believe there was no malicious intent. She was simply using everyday language.

This seems to happen frequently. 

The question is how often to fact-correct whoever is using incorrect identifiers.

In some instances, as noted above, the response is an apology. An apology means someone made a mistake and they feel it is a necessity to correct their action.

Is it necessary to correct every instance?

Is it necessary to essentially create an embarrassment for the individual saying what is “proper verbiage” in the majority of instances?

Or should every instance be fact-checked to identify whether the reference should be wife, husband, she or he, or any other pronoun any of us should choose to use?

Should every instance be an opportunity for education in the fact that every union is not simply male and female?

This is cause for individual perusal.

It is certainly an issue, which must be individually evaluated for personal value and safety.

• Is there malicious intent?

• Is there a public demonstration?

• Is this essentially a set-up for harm to be inflicted?

• Will this promote acceptance?

Things have drastically changed since I exited life for care giving. Issues arise that weren't even thought of back then, only 10 years ago. 

Now, she is referred to as my wife. My wife would have made a joke of like gaffs, saying something like “Well, he’s a she. Maybe the other variety would have cooked for me.” 

Let me know how you are doing. I care.

Contemplation: When fact-checking, is it important to consider the value of your personal truth?

Sincerely,

Lynn Brooke

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Photo Credit: © 2024 Rachel Gareau